I knew that once I moved in with a boy there would be some adjustments and based on all of our premartial counseling, I knew that some of the biggest adjustments would probably revolve around money, time, and sex.
Well in the Barnett household, my biggest adjustment thus far has revolved around the toilet and it's lid. When I first moved into James' house, I decided that the guest bathroom was going to be my domain (it's huge, light blue, crisp white and just perfect) and the master bath would continue to belong to James.
This worked great until I discovered that my toilet seat was broken.
How did I find out?
By sitting down to use the restroom and flying off the toilet, taking the seat and lid with me. The plastic snaps holding the lid on the toilet broke completely off. Talk about giving a girl a complex.
After I cried about all the wrongs in the world, kicked the toilet and informed James of my dilemma, I decided to simply move into the master bath.
Problem Solved!
Or so I thought. My husband is not like most men. He is very indecisive with his toilet lid habits. He NEVER leaves the seat up, but whether or not he puts the lid down is a crap shoot.
I know y'all are probably wondering what the big deal is and there really isn't an issue, except in the middle of the night.
Take Monday night for instance. I got up about midnight, went to use the restroom and sat flat on the toilet lid.
Like a queen on her throne.
Her cold, cold throne.
Like a queen on her throne.
Her cold, cold throne.
Then about 4:00 that morning, J got up to go to the restroom. Since I have major issues (meaning, if somebody or something wakes me up, I have to pee), I got up to go once he got back in bed.
In my sleep induced stumble to the bathroom, I assumed James put the lid down like he did before he went to bed, but alas I was wrong.
I lifted up the seat, which I assumed was the lid, and fell straight down into the cold, wet porcelain bowl. As I tried to catch myself on the sides of the toilet, I screamed, cursed my luck and poor gambling skills.
Since I love Barney and am not one to air our dirty laundry on the internet (Ha!), I bought a new toilet seat for my bathroom.
Problem solved.
Hilarious!!! I love it!
ReplyDeleteDon't feel too badly, I have a little man who likes to use my toilet and ALWAYS leaves the seat up and, well, let's just say you and I have the same night time habits!
I think James needs to spring for a fancy toilet seat for your bathroom to get you over the trauma. You know, one of the ones that does the dirty work for you!
ReplyDelete